if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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