Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
