You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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