I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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