going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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