I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
