It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
