I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
