I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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