Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
fuck your aforementioned shoe
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
