Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
