glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
