Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
