I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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