I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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