Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
