My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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