idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i wish my penis had a tongue
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
