Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
