Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
