put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
