porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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