Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
