i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
