Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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