You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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