I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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