just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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