I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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