I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
