Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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