I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
