Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The power of my boobs compel you
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
