Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Can you bring me the toilet please
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