I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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