don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
