I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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