I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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