names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
