can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i dont even know how to be here
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
