I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
