I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
