The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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