I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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