I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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