just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
her facebook's as public as her vagina
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
