We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
