just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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