I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
