Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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