dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize