he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
