i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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