we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
