I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
