my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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