Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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