Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
