Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
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In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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