Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
pray to the hookup gods
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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