making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
