dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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