I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
