Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
