thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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