Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
