I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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