Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
