OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Randomize